Mental Health Night Testimony CR at FBC Elberton

“Change can come in either of two important ways: Start behaving positively or stop behaving negatively.”

― Dr. Phil McGraw

David McCannon

Introduction

Hello forever family. My name is David and I am a grateful believer in Jesus Christ. I struggled with Mental Illness most of my life. The road to recovery has been a long, slow ride home for me. During my lifetime I had many attempts to end my life. The attempts range from starvation, hanging, or overdose on my medication.

For 30 plus years, I have struggled with suicidal ideation. One time while living in a housing program in Athens, GA, I thought about going to the Firing Lane and pretend I was there for target practice. My plan was to turn the gun to my head and shoot myself. There have been times while I was hospitalized for depression, I tried to hang myself. I can name 3 different occasions where this happened. I got caught once trying to hang myself with my belt at Charter Peachford. Also, one time I made an attempt to hang myself with a bath towel at Peachford. They called me to the nurses’ station and told me that my insurance ran out. They sent me home that very day. I was not well, and it seemed that the only thing that mattered to them was the insurance money.

I tried everything that modern medicine had to offer to heal my depression. Things to treat what I was convinced that was solely caused by a chemical imbalance. It was my hope I could find that magic bullet to heal my illness. The emotional pain I experienced was agonizing. When the pills failed, I tried Electroconvulsive Therapy. I would get some temporary relief from my depression, but it always returned with a vengeance.

While I was growing up, I did everything to seek acceptance of others. You see I grew up in a Fundamental Independent Baptist Church. I believed that was an angry God looking down on us waiting for us to mess up, to sin. So he could punish us. My momma also didn’t help matters much. She said that my dad said, “I would never amount to anything because I was raised by a bunch of women.

Over the years I battled with my own personal demons.  Nothing made me happy. I always expected the worse, and I like Job hated my life. Facing the truth was hard for me. I was my own worst enemy.

Back in 2014 I went psychotic. I became very sick. And I suffered with delusions, visual, and auditory hallucinations.  I was scared and my friends at the church were very concerned about me. My Psychiatrist prescribed Haldol to treat Schizophrenia. The bad news was I didn’t know at the time, I was allergic to this medicine. It crippled me. I was stiff as a board, and I couldn’t dress myself. I had to go to rehab to retrain myself to walk again. This event turned me against all Psych drugs and I became non-compliant in taking my medication which landed me into a serious legal problem later.

Over a period of six months I experienced many symptoms due to my untreated illness. I became catatonic, had grand delusions which led to multiple hospitalizations. I also lived in a dream like state, walking the streets of Elberton.

I experienced blackouts. During these blackouts I would have no memory of what happened. It during this time it happened at church. They took me to the ER in Elberton. From this very day I still have no memory of this. My friends told me that I destroyed a laptop computer that belonged to Elbert Memorial Hospital. They called the police and they laid hands on me. I got into a shoving match with two officers and I was arrested and charged with two felony counts of obstruction of justice. To make a long story short, I was court ordered to live in a personal care home in Tignall, GA called Country Manor.

There is no shame in needing to take medicine for your mental illness. And having a mental illness is not a shame to admit having. It takes a lot of guts to admit that you need help. Work with your doctor. It takes time to find the right medicine, and the right dosage to fit you.

“Instead of being ashamed of what you've been through, be proud of what you have overcome!”

― Dr. Phil McGraw

Never quit taking your medicine without first talking with your psychiatrist. If you’re having issues with your meds, write it down, if you have a complaint you cannot put into words, take a friend with you. Being compliant with your medication is essential. Your well-being depends on it. Don’t make the same mistake as me. Learn from me. Never quit taking your medication cold turkey. The consequences are not worth it.

Over the years I had to battle the personal demons inside my mind. My greatest enemy is me. In 2010 I attended my first Celebrate Recovery Meeting here at First Baptist. It was here I learn to live the solution and not the problem. As my Sponsor Johnny Price said; “My thinker was broken.” I needed God to repair my mind. I needed him to renew my mind. (See Romans 12:2 NIV). 

Mental Illness is like a storm. It can wipe you out at any given time. It don’t just affect you, it devastates families too. Here is a poem I want to share with you.

Recovery it’s A Matter of Time ― by David McCannon

When the life storm of mental illness comes knocking at you your door, life seems to be all but over. Hope fades into a distant memory and life is forever changed. Nothing will ever be the same. Why should you die before your time? 

When the life storm of mental illness comes knocking at your door, in a desperate cry for help you try to take your life. You find your way into a Psychiatric hospital with a diagnosis of a mental illness. Why should you destroy yourself? 

When the life storm of mental illness come knocking at your door, you will learn a new word recovery. Is this a myth? You know nothing will ever be the same. Yet the question remains. Why should I die before my time? 

The life storm of mental illness can strike any given time on any given day of life. Like in any storm, destruction lays everything in waste and work is needed to restore order. This takes time. Medication may be needed. As we know this too shall pass. We learn recovery takes time. We must get to work. We don’t have to die before our time. 

Despite of the life storm of mental illness life can be good. The good times do come again. We learn we can persevere and grow stronger with the help of our higher power, friends, and through the fellowship of another person. We learn life is worth living; it takes a lot of work, but it is worth it.

Like any other storm, mental illness leaves a great deal of destruction and everything lies in waste. Suicidal ideation is like a tornado that is inside your mind. Your life is in a state of emergency. Don’t wait! Call the EMS, or the Suicide Prevention Lifeline. It you have injured yourself, call 911.

Don’t give up; just live for today! You don’t have to go it alone. Seek professional help. There are people that care about you; people that are interested in your wellbeing. Social Workers, Licensed Professional Counselors, and Psychiatrists are there to help put your life back together. Don’t go it alone!

Once you are stabilized with medication, then rehab begins. It is time to rebuild your life. The renewing of your mind is like rebuilding a house brick by brick. You must have a good foundation. Rehab is a process. It takes time. There are no shortcuts. The road to recovery leads thru, not around the problems we face every day in life.

Lone Rangers don’t make it in recovery. Don’t go it alone. Join a support group. There are three good ones I know of, Celebrate Recovery, National Alliance on Mental Illness (AKA) NAMI and Emotions Anonymous also known as EA.

When the life storm of mental illness hit me, it was Celebrate Recovery that helped me. I found a sponsor and he took me through the CR participants guides that helped renew my mind. I went thru the eight recovery principles based on the beatitudes of Christ. In doing this I found out that God loved me. Jesus my savior took on the righteous wrath of God for me. I was broken, and lost, but God’s grace set me free. I have accepted Jesus Christ as my LORD and Savior. I am no longer condemned. I have been washed in the blood of Christ and am declared “NOT GUILTY!”

Johnny Price was my sponsor. I heard his testimony many times. He said that his sponsor told him this. He said, “Johnny, you thinker is broken. Your thinker needs to be repaired.” 

Professionals like Social Workers and Counselors can give us the tools to fix our minds, but we have to use them. They cannot do the work for us. We have to put forth the effort to use the tools they give us.

When I received services from Advantage Behavioral Health in Athens, GA, I did a little one on one therapy called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and in group we did Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT).

They also had what we called a recovery tool box. My tools I use for my recovery is the bible, Facebook, blogging, Celebrate Recovery, and finding inspirational quotes by Christian Authors. I still use CBT. It is Cognitive Bible Study.

Read God’s Word daily. It will change your life. Oh, one more thing. I highly recommend you find a good church home. We were never meant to go it alone.  

The life storm of mental illness can leave you disabled and leave scares that are invisible to the naked eye. The work can be long and hard. But it is worth it. Do the work, you are worth it.

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.   

Ephesians 2:10 (NLT)

Celebrate Recovery at First Baptist Church Elberton

First Baptist Church Elberton, GA

Emotions Anonymous

NAMI Georgia

David's fundraiser for NAMI Georgia